The chaos of the world does not have to assault your inner world.

With everything going on in the world today, I just want to take a few minutes to set the intention to be like a mountain and not swayed or moved by any of the disruptions going on in the world. Low levels of consciousness will always play havoc in matter. So be spirit. Let your lightness lift you above the heavy stench of baseness. It is never necessary to be arrogant about this. Whatever is, simply is.

Bowing.

The Souls of Black Folk

It dawned upon me
with certain suddenness
that I was different from the others…
shut out from their world
by a vast veil. ~W.E.B. Du Bois

Lately, I’ve been thinking about “there” and about something else - bringing new to the world.

“There” is where I was always headed. “There” was something I pushed against. “There” was sometimes here and sometimes there. “There” watched me as much as I watched it.

I lived a “work remotely” life long before it was quick and easy. I spent much of my time arranging lodging and homestays long before friendly ads and apps were available to provide support, ideas, companionship and acknowledgement. I wasted way too much of my time explaining myself to those without vision.

But, the world caught up, to some extent. Now, kids think they invented nomadism and Bob Dylan’s ageism doesn’t help. Come mothers and fathers Throughout the land… Your old road is rapidly agin’ Please get out of the new one if you can’t lend your hand For the times they are a-changin’. Not really, Bob. But it is good to know I did it before the “helpful” companies (that capitalize on the spirit of the wandering). And I can just smile when someone tells the social media world how amazing they are because they’ve spent six whole months traveling - woo hoo!

Traveling is not the same as vacationing. Traveling is not a Forbes magazine article. The essence of travel cannot be found in a travel guide.

Traveling is sentimental and innocent, surreal and inspired. But it is also suicidal and bumming. And traveling itself is not a magic formula for these elements. Simply put, one is either born a traveler or not. Of course you can travel, if you must, but you might do just as well staying home and organizing themed parties.

Anyway, I was thinking about this lately. And then there’s this…

In this lifetime, I have taken form as a woman. The other day a man asked me how much money I planned to make that day and then he proceeded to proposition me - he wanted to purchase me. This happened in the United States of America on a day like any other day. I’m not a sex worker. Nothing in our encounter indicated a sale.

This isn’t the first time and it won’t be the last. I’m nearly fifty and was introduced to this form of purchasing power when I was a small girl. But it hurt me the other day. I hurt for other women. I hurt for the young woman I was once - she who was called a bitch and crazy because I tried to defend myself in those bizarre moments. I hurt for the young girls who may or may not ever realize they have unknowingly agreed to a role in this kind of hostile rapport.

In the USA in 2019, I am not considered equal. Which means, the U.S. Constitution does not guarantee protection of my rights and the Constitution does not protect against sex discrimination. So, this means, I will continually battle for my rights. It means my human rights are subpar.

But, I have a black folk soul, I have within me new beginnings and a new appreciation of joy and desire; I am anew, will to be. And I am not alone.

Birdsongs and Breathing space

oṃ bhūr bhuvaḥ svaḥ
tatsaviturvareṇyaṃ
bhargo devasya dhīmahi
dhiyo yo naḥ prachodayāt

Harry Paul Cuero from the Campo people whose performance of part of a Bird Song woke me up, inspired me, and the sound vibration stills sings within my body, mind, consciousness.

Gordon Hempton, founder of One Square Inch of Silence and Breathing Space, placed the song of the forests, the song of raindrops, the song of mist in my tired ears and it still drops into my heart space today.

Krista Tippett brings these conversations into my universe to complete the sentences and answer questions buzzing in my mind or heavy on my shoulders.

Anand Mehrotra gave me techniques to settle down my nervous system - so I can feel rightly.

With the help of these Great People, I can look at the injustices of man and not be overwhelmed into submission or ignorance or dismissiveness.

Blessings in May.

The dog with white fur, the chick with white teeth...

I was with my friend, an Indian-body woman in her 20s (maybe 30s). We saw a man with two samoyed dogs - the dogs’ fur was so incredibly white and absolutely perfect. My friend says:

I think it must be a lot of work to take care of those dogs, to keep them so clean, so white.

I said:

WOW! Anyone who has dogs like that must not have very much to do - those dogs require a lot of time (PAUSE) or a lot of money.

We laughed. Then I began…

You know, I wonder what those dogs did in their previous lives - to manifest in such a way that whomever looks upon them KNOWS they will not do any extra tricks, they will not do any work, they will simply exist expecting to be pampered.

We laughed again. I said:

You know, I know this woman with incredibly beautiful skin and incredibly straight teeth that are so white they look like pearls. The clothes with which she adorns her body boosts her positives. But she is really a nasty person - I’ve seen her in action when others are not paying attention. She’s only nasty when no one “important” is around to see. The rest of the time, she is just perfect - acting, of course.

My friend said:

I wonder how much of that is real - the teeth, the tan…

I said:

Oh, I never thought about that - I don’t know how much time she spends on whitening her teeth, tanning her skin, brushing her hair… I don’t know.

Then I stopped. We both laughed - it’s funny how similar she is to these samoyed dogs.

This morning questions arise

A voice had questions this morning : Why teach this yoga class today - who am I to teach others? What sets me apart from them? The voice continued, screeching : You ate meat in this lifetime - You were drunk with vomit in your hair - You’ve cussed - You’ve flipped people off - Who do you think you are? What kind of health and wellness can YOU offer anyone?

I took the questions seriously and into my meditation, I was like : Who DO I think I am?

The other night, it was cold in Austin, Texas. I was driving around and there were so many homeless people on the street. Some of them paced back and forth, many of them were talking to themselves. I felt, in my wrists and bones, the same cold wind on their skin, their faces.

When I was homeless, I told myself : I just need to get to point XYZ and it will be ok… Then I was homeless again. Then I told myself : Maybe I just need to accept who I am - what I’ve become, this is my life… Then I was homeless again… Each time, I went through a different process - accepting where I am, wondering why, planning to get out of that there and then… different processes…

But this morning, when these questions and criticisms arose, I wasn’t homeless or uncomfortable. My spine ached so I moved it. Why these strange questions?

When I lived in a homeless shelter, no one could have guessed it. Even now, it will be shocking for others to discover this fact about me. And this can be like spitting and thinking no one sees you spit - a kind of hiding, a kind of lie.

When I walked into the office to lead a yoga class, I shared that with the people. I said : This morning, the voices tried to persuade me to not show up. I’m here anyway. The voices asked me who I think I am? I showed up anyway. The voices reminded me of all the reasons I am not good enough. The voices tell me some other yoga teacher would be better for you. I showed up anyway.

My yoga Mentor, Anand Mehrotra, says : Show up fully! And so I do. He says : Practice when no one is watching. And so I do.

After the first Kriya, the energy pulsating, the mind humbled by the breath, we paused together, palms facing up. I heard Anand : Stay. Stay. From my heart, I repeated : Stay. Stay. Let all the crows fly away.

I put my hands on my lap and enjoyed the smile appear across my face, over my whole body, and I knew I would never be homeless again - not ever - no matter what is above me - roof or sky. I’m always good and I’m always home now.

LOVE

Deserving Power and Masturbation

Two topics on my mind this morning are : Masturbation and Deserving Power.

I don’t like these words so I did some research to find words I prefer, words which strike meaning for me : I chose Shakti (to replace deserving power) and Brahma (to replace masturbation). Here’s why…

Going into Sanskrit, I found Hastmaithun. Ha is a form of Siva. Ha is a cipher - like the arithmetical figure symbolizing o. Ha represents meditation, sky, heaven, paradise, dying, fear, knowledge, the moon, Visnu, war , battle, a horse, pride, a physician, a cause and a motive.

Let’s go on a journey with this, shall we?

Have you ever masturbated? I’m not advocating for or against masturbation - I’m simply asking if ever you have? If not, you will not understand what I’m talking about - you will also not understand if you have masturbated but only as an escape or addiction.

For those of us who have masturbated as an exploration, process or form, Ha will make sense. Ha Siva - the limitless, the one who is beyond beyond, the one who is bound not by inhibitions, morality or compulsion. Ha Siva - the master of the senses. It makes sense that the beginning of masturbation would be Siva.

And, cipher, the o - the root contained and also opening to the universe to give and to receive. Within the orgasm is the fear and knowledge like death, like birth. The unknown slips into and out of the known - simultaneously present, past and coming. It is the moon, liquid and shining. The cause and the effect. The healing physician and the physician’s discovery, application and duty. Ha, a meditation.

This is the new way to look at masturbation - in which and through which everything is contained and released… a universe of waves and the undefined. Limitlessness.

Another Sanskrit word expression for masturbation is : svayám-indriya-mocana.

Svayám - one’s own (reflexive). Indriya - agreeable to Indra, the King of Heaven, the God of storm, rains and river flow. Mocana - releasing, setting free, letting go. All of this - the rivers, the storm, the God of Heaven is contained in masturbation.

The journey of masturbation includes desire, arousal, climax (with or without orgasm, with or without ejaculation) and return - and this is just on the physical level. Then there is what goes on with the endocrine and the nervous systems. And there can be a psychological element as well as a spiritual element. And I believe there is also a metaphysical phase (or maybe a quantum mechanics aspect). This phase or aspect is not bound by the intellect (not even for this posting) - it has more to do with the possibility of the possible and/or the reality of alternate histories, alternate futures. And it is very personal and unique to each Conscious expression. I don’t think this technology was just dropped on us for no reason or just for sexual purposes or just for procreation alone.

So the word for masturbation needs an update - masturbation is Brahma, the self-born and Divine Creativity. Not to say that masturbation - with a pre-determined, pre-defined physical objective - is Brahma or anywhere near divine or creativity… but we’re talking about potential here. Potential. The possibilities. The limitlessness, the golden womb. Waking up and sleeping deeply.

The other concept I’ve heard lately is : deserving power.

I get that this concept was thought up by someone with the desire to connect with others and to share something. But what does it actually mean?

Personally, I have observed people using the phrase, tossing it around over chai, but when I tilt my head, these speakers seem to have lost control over their speech so these words seem to be just run from their mouths with a kind of urge to self-justify their so-called position in the universe. It’s unbecoming.

But this deserving power is actually essential to every individual - every single living entity - because it locates a reality - the reality of Shakti.

Shakti is not a definition of something or a synonym for something. It’s not a concept or a personification. What Shakti is cannot be contained in letters S-H-A-K-T-I and what deserving power is cannot be contained in words. Deserving power exists - whether you know the word for it or not!

The essence and meaning of Shakti cannot be found within the boundaries of linguistics - word formation and semantic change. Shakti is a reality, beyond the mind. Shakti, deserving power, is not limited by awareness. Shakti is the essence of Nature, the Source.

Discovery your own Power. Find your own meaning.

HARI OM

*FYI
I am not a Sanskrit scholar. Nor am I a psychologist or doctor. I am an Intuitive scholar and the Poet Truth.


Gratitude, the VERB

No matter what the dictionary says, Gratitude is a VERB. A verb is a word to describe an action or a state of being. So Gratitude is either a state of being, an action, or nothing but a word. The actions and state of gratitude are powerful, it sets us into action to make reality of our theories and concepts. But when ideas (or hopes) remain just words - captured in words - our entire lives seem to become meaningless!

When gratitude manifests as actions then we create our meaningful reality! So…. Practice NOW. Stand up and raise your hands above your head. Let the fingertips meet. Lower your eyelids so that you can only slightly see the floor in front of your feet. Breathe deeply in. Breathe deeply out. Let your shoulders slip down your back, away from your earlobes. Say THANK YOU silently. Say it again. If others visit you in your mind, tell them thank you. Say : thank you, thank you, thank you.

Now, sit down.

Wonderful things are happening. If we try to categorize the wonder, however, we underestimate ourselves and our lives - our banal comparisons turn the whole world into everything trite.

What do you look forward to seeing today? Let your mind wonder. The good in the world is cultivated on a daily basis and the Greatest Good is sometimes never noticed. So, do ONE unnoticeable thing today. What might it be? Perhaps you won’t kill the spider or the ant. Perhaps you’ll let someone else go first in line. Perhaps you’ll not do any of those and you’ll come up with your own good will! Will you? Will you?

This is not about becoming a hippie or a gullible goofball who everyone at the corporate function or the yoga retreat just adores! Please! Be real. PLEASE. This is about changing the world - one self at a time!

Try this… For ONE week, try to be conscious as you go to sleep. Don’t exhaust yourself throughout the day so much that you can’t be conscious before you rest. Don’t drink alcohol after work - for one week! - just so you can feel presence before you rest! Gratitude here is acknowledging that you are about to close your eyes only because you fully expect them to open in the morning. But are you sure your eyes will open in the morning? Are you so sure you will live through the night? Based on what, is your trust? Showing gratitude in the act of your presence just before going to sleep is saying Thank you, Thank you, Thank you to your heart and to your lungs - and acknowledging how your body works independently, 24-7, to keep you alive.

But you don’t really care about seeing do you?

How often do you say Thanks Eyes! Thanks for seeing! And if you’re blind… then I don’t know how you’re reading this, but thank that thing helping you do it! and, while you’re at it, Mr. Blind man, thank the overdevelopment of your senses exchanged for your sense of sight.

Mornings. Do you stop even once in the morning after your feet hit the ground - do you slow down, do you pause at all?

How can you think that saying thank you four times to the barista is going to help you along in your day if you can’t fully put gratitude into action for yourself? Saying thank you is nice. But rushing out of the house without pausing is just pure violence. You’re not doing anyone any favors by doing that!

So just pause at the door long enough to become aware of which foot steps out the door first! Start there! Later, you’ll be able to see how that has everything to do with your blocked nasal passage. Then maybe then you’ll get to nourishment!

Gratitude (the action) for the body, mind and soul is the only way we can change things in our lives. Later we might get to volunteering at a soup kitchen! OR - how about this - to not letting any human on the planet starve to death!

For now, just start paying attention. That’s enough. Just pay attention to yourself. Become aware of your thoughts, anger, fears, how you walk, how you smell when you cry, how you look when you’re smiling… Donate your time to this!

Otherwise, nothing is gratitude! no matter how well you package it or try to spin it or explain it…