I spent a whole day writing this. And the computer or the website or something deleted my text. So, it is gone now. Burned away. And I will let it be gone like that. This is a common occurrence, loss in the modern age. So, real-time.
June 1.
entering. On non-productive - I promised myself seven hours a day or 1,000words per day or a poem, something
this, this -- this....
instead I find myself caring for my family
and balancing -- a vine upon a
-- an area
A mother, a daughter, a thief.
Stealing turquoise
and roses
collage.
Four five ten times maybe in the last few days
Montreal, is my favorite. City
What to cut out?
1. Relationships with sex, shame, shambles
2. Colonial mirrors.
Was i here?
3. beginning
temple,
Alongside handwriting
4. yellow glass.
Burgundy earth.
house less and on the run.
What is rain?
The smell of smoke
The memory of heat and story
5. To writ in milk
In increments
The part
That kept me in my place.
owl.
6. Even as a very young child, I recall the desire, for my own neck
endocrine,
red dirt
muddy river
Raven
white horse, the sun
The rough rainbows
7. a fluid, Enlarged
8. betrayal. electrolytes.
Colts
9. emptied regret
empty with fear
whatever
wanted the second crush
He read my letters aloud
upon the street.
At the bus stop
Getting directions
10. pink.
11.
*
Delete the digits
51
the life of the poet?
Never!
but the politics are chance
Pre-verbal
where I live, i lived…
on the sidewalk, in city A
Grey. Pink
And beautiful. Again
They said
They always said
They said so often I quit believing
Said: it’s just something he says
an unBeautiful novel
4/29 Violence.
Boulder. Naropa. Colorado.
Perhaps you will tear away from community.
Gabrielle Civil.
A rope. A drop cloth.
Kate Zambreno.
the capacity to forget. To Remember to forget.
David Buuck
performing.
Melissa Buzzeo
hypnosis
Greenhouse.
roaming with wolf pack
grey skirt, green top
ask questions,
And be part of the is.
di tutto di più, o più semplicemente Blob
everything more, or simply more Blob,
Premier blockbuster philosophique jamais réalisé
Réveille-toi and rage against the machine.
armé d’une foule de références, de thématiques, d’innovations et d’idées…
New York
New York, New York
Modern cryptocurrencies were first described in 1998 by author Wei Dai. The concept fully emerged in 2008 with the release of the white paper by “Satoshi Nakamoto” - blockchain technology, a “triple-entry” bookkeeping and transaction system.
Trust and anonymity are the code words.
Bhanu’s 20may2015. 5.38 p.m.
fountain,
I have lived in a national forest.
wild turkeys, water, dread.
Blogging
Do I like blogging?
Delhi
Do I like India?
Being alive.
to create a posthumous archive.
For whom?
For young writers ?
50 years from now.
Thelonious
coloring
about war
I write
a final project
Another project
make something functional and nutritious;
saag paneer
Some part of my body wants …
to write
To write about
bodies
institutions
Writing
Time
To not write for stories
But for language
For To not hate it
it feels impossible today
windowsill.
Let's pretend
Pretend we are writing
my sister is washing one of her three dogs in the other room
schooling
She would have been a great dog groomer
Thelonious and his bass on the street
Running from what was coming
Not like Touissaint, sitting
complexities
of India,
which ended confused, confused.
my sister
And los Angeles
I see angels, so many of them
Lost
This means that I am writing this
One of her dogs just leapt up and is sitting next to me on the couch
She won’t stay long - I long for her to stay
Longer
What makes her restless?
And cats?
Always moving on
the day’s pale air
How much I would like to have a velvet chair , a writing chair , a chair to sit in while writing
a gift is unimaginable
The dog’s listening for my sister outside in the garage ….
And now she’s back up, standing at the door
How long is her moment? Does she feel time?
She sighed. Just now.
She
The pug is snoring and twelve
The air purifier whirs
This all happened as I wrote
ownership
And the door opens
or belonging
Or place. Or time.
We talk about the past
When daddy would ball up his fists and punch the girls becoming women
And mother
And kicked my brother in the balls becoming man
How to start writing?
still haunted
I love the word Autumn
For autumn
Not fall.
In India intensely I felt the polluted present rage
Breath work made fire to remove the o
Himalaya is not the oldest
But tectonic is the same
quakes and aftershocks and second waves
One explodes randomly
The other is a constant drip to shatter
I saw the village.
I am many
My sister tells me of heroic moments and then I realize
She sees deeper than any poet I’ve ever read and deeper than
garden brick wall mango
Stars.
The letter V.
stroking inside my sleep
I swung the door open
And behind the toilet in rishikesh was a snake trying to get away from my eyes
My sister has a thing with snakes
She once found the skins - one snake eating another snake
Since then I know Lord Shiva and His Nandi bull
obeisance to Retrograde
And right now.
I adapt to Western civilization by focusing on apertures,
Letting light in
darkness
giving up. give up.
I wish I could learn more
My sister sometimes glances and gazes
extraordinary
She is much more than anything I
Like turquoise
Like gold.
Ban is beautiful
Sometimes I hear stories of her ex-boyfriend and I want to wretch. I can’t imagine what excuses they used to be disturbed
And now
Now
I feel like this writing has gone really well.
It’s 5:36p.m.